Semester Ganjil

Akhir-akhir ini saya merasa waktu itu sempit dan sedikit, entah apa yang saya kerjain kok kayaknya banyak banget hingga menuntut waktu lebih...untuk tidur.

Antara kerjaan dan tugas kuliah di semester ganjil ini lagi agak menggila, semuanya banyak detail dan riset yang mesti dikerjain, kepala mau pecah, udah putus asa lah..takut semua nggak bisa tuntas dengan baik.

kalau udah mulai muncul rasa-rasa putus asa begini, muncul juga pertanyaan "buat apaan sih nih?", "penting banget apa buat hidup gue?" "apa yang sesungguhnya penting sih.." - ye know it's question all the way down..becandaan sama teman saya dan pernah jadi obrolan singkat di suatu malam, kalau kita ini kebanjiran informasi tapi kehilangan makna akan artinya..

Merasa komat kamit doa, nungging-nungging solat...nggak ngaruh,  where is the answer that I need..

Seketika menemukan puisi sekaligus cerita yang menghibur hati saya,

HERE I AM

All night A man called "Allah", until his lips were bleeding..
then the devil said "hey, Mr. Gullible, how comes you've been calling all night and never once heard Allah say 'here I am'..you called out so earnestly and in reply..what?. I'll tell you what..nothing!"


The man suddenly felt empty and abandoned, depressed, he threw himself on the ground, and fell into a deep sleep. In a dream, he met Abraham, who asked..


"why are you regretting praising Allah?"


The man said..


"I called and called, but Allah never replied 'here I am'.."


Abraham explained,

"Allah has said..your calling My name is My reply, 
 your longing for Me, is My message to you,
 All your attempts to reach Me, are in reality My attempts to reach you,
 your fear and love are noose to catch Me.."


In the silence surrounding every call of "Allah", waits a thousand replies of "Here I am"

quoted from poet seers.